It’s common for adult performers to be Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) – and those who are should NOT repeat the mistake ACA Scarlet Sade has made in dating alcoholic pornographer Mike Quasar

It’s common for adult performers to be Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) – and those who are should NOT repeat the mistake ACA Scarlet Sade has made in dating alcoholic pornographer Mike Quasar

April 29, 2020 Off By PNTLIVE

PNT commentary: Hopefully, in time, the adult performer known as Scarlet Sade will manage to disconnect from the manipulative and abusive alcoholic pornographer known as Mike Quasar in one piece – but without a doubt he will likely attempt to harm (if not destroy) her before all is said and done…

It’s very common for adult performers (pornstars) to be Adult Children of Alcoholics (in others words they are often people who grew up with at least one alcoholic parent). ACA’s who have not undergone extensive therapy to address the childhood trauma they endured need to be very cautious in regards to the type of people they enter relationships with… as they tend to gravitate towards romantic partners who exhibit the same dysfunctional behavior they witnessed in their own alcoholic parent. For an ACA, dysfunction is “normal”.

In Scarlet Sade’s case, by electing to date the dangerous, psychologically stunted, abusive and alcoholic pornographer (who is old enough to be her father) known as Mike Quasar- she appears to be repeating the exact same pattern she witnessed as a child between her own parents.


Scarlet’s father appears to have died fairly early in his life (only two years ago) – likely in part due to being an alcoholic. It’s possible that Scarlet is projecting her desire to “save” her father by dating Quasar – and it’s incredibly likely that Quasar is manipulating and exploiting Scarlet’s desire to “be a good person” and “help alcoholics” by keeping the young woman under his thumb (playing the role of a quirky, needy, wounded bird who just needs to feel “true love” to see that it’s possible to put down the bottle).


Realistically Scarlet and Quasar look absolutely ridiculous together – because the relationship at it’s core IS absolutely ridiculous (and will likely end in absolute disaster). In time she will likely grow to resent how he’s siphoning some of the best years of her life from her – and upon her decision to move on from him, he will likely have his buddy Sean Tompkins aka TRPWL create an extensive online presence revolving around Scarlet that links her legal name and professional resume to her adult performer persona (Pornwikileaks style).


If you are an ACA adult performer (pornstar) reading this, don’t make the same mistake as Scarlet Sade. Steer clear of alcoholics in (and outside of) the industry like Mike Quasar. People like Quasar don’t tend to change for the better – and not because they’re incapable…but because they’re lazy and don’t want to put forth the effort. In the end, men like Quasar will regard women like Scarlet Sade no differently than he did another young woman he sought to control (but couldn’t) known as Bobbi Dylan – or a woman who is his peer (and who is his age) Phyllisha Anne.

Characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholics

1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is.

2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.

3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.

4. Adult children of alcoholics judge themselves without mercy.

5. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty having fun.

6. Adult children of alcoholics take themselves very seriously.

7. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty with intimate relationships.

8. Adult children of alcoholics overreact to changes over which they have no control.

9. Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval and affirmation.

10. Adult children of alcoholics usually feel that they are different from other people.

11. Adult children of alcoholics are super responsible or super irresponsible.

12. Adult children of alcoholics are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.

13. Adult children of alcoholics are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsively leads to confusion, self-loathing and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess.

The Effects of Living With an Alcoholic Spouse

The effects of living with an alcoholic are both short-term and have lasting consequences. Spouses of alcoholics are more likely to be victims of domestic violence, may suffer emotional harm, may neglect their own health, and may become socially withdrawn. Many relationships affected by alcohol end in separation and lasting effects like physical injuries, emotional trauma, additional addictive disorders, financial problems, and broken relationships. To avoid or minimize these effects it is important to directly address the issue of drinking, to try to help the alcoholic, and to leave the relationship if necessary.

Living with someone who has an alcohol use disorder severe enough to be considered alcoholism presents a number of challenges. Spouses of alcoholics may suffer emotional harm, be victims of violence and domestic abuse, develop health problems, or even develop their own addictions. The consequences of living this way and doing nothing to try to make a change can be long-lasting and may include mental illnesses, chronic health problems, permanent injuries, and damaged relationships.

People who drink too much often cause harm to those they love. Making excuses or avoiding the problem doesn’t help and in fact will lead to more harm for everyone involved. It is important to address the issue, to take steps to help the individual who struggles with drinking, and to know when to leave for self-protection if necessary.

The Challenges of Living With an Alcoholic Partner

There are many challenges that a person might face when living with a partner, husband, or wife with an alcohol use disorder. These may vary depending on the situation and the people involved, but studies have found that there are many commonalities. In one study, for instance, researchers interviewed 30 women who were wives of alcoholics about the issues they faced and the coping mechanisms they used.

The results showed that these women faced challenges that were financial, social, emotional, and also related to physical health and violence. The problems they listed during the study included:

  • Having anxiety
  • Feeling frustrated
  • Displacing that frustration on their children
  • Ignoring their children’s needs
  • Feeling mentally disturbed
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Not paying attention to their own health
  • Spending less time socializing with others
  • Feeling ashamed when around others
  • Having financial difficulties
  • Being threatened, or hearing spouse threaten to kill himself
  • Being physically harmed
  • Thinking about suicide

Most of the issues these women faced were emotional, but it is clear that living with an alcoholic partner also impacts social health, physical well-being, relationships with children, and finances. Other studies and statistics indicate that violence and being harmed is one of the biggest problems that spouses and partners face.

According to the World Health Organization, 55 percent of assaults by one partner against another in the U.S. occurred after the perpetrator had been drinking. It has also found that heavier drinking and drinking more frequently are risk factors for domestic violence. Being unsatisfied in the relationship also increases the risk that one partner who drinks heavily will assault the other. Other studies have also shown that a leading trigger for violence when one partner is drinking is an accusation of infidelity.

Unhealthy Coping Strategies

The drinking of a partner who has an alcohol use disorder can cause many of these challenges and potentially others. As a result, a man or woman in this situation may rely on coping strategies that are not healthy or productive, and that cause further harm. For instance, withdrawing and hiding is a strategy of avoidance that may provide some temporary relief. Over time, though, the spouse who withdraws simply waits while the problem gets worse, and in the meantime becomes more distant from friends and extended family.

Other strategies of avoidance can be equally damaging, including covering for a spouse’s responsibilities, providing them with money, not confiding in anyone but putting on a brave face and pretending everything is normal, making excuses for a spouse’s behaviors, taking on extra work to cover money problems, and others. These are unhealthy because they ignore the real problem as it gets worse.

 

 

 

Categoryabuse dating education history pornstars
Tagsabuse aca adult children of alcoholics alcoholic boyfriend dad director father mike quasar old pornographer pornstar scarlet sade zero tolerance